How on Earth did you do this?
Kudos to YOU! This may be the single most impressive time-waster (and entertaining to boot!) that I have ever seen here...
Yeah so I've been on a conference call for most of the afternoon. Sad thing is that it didn't really pertain to me so I decided to compile the results of this year's polls.
You may find it interesting to know that your average DBR poster...
- thinks Cats are the evil Spawn of Satan.
- would like to see Jon Scheyer, Greg Paulus, or Taylor King dunk a scarf on the court.
- would vote Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame.
- like there tater tots fried with salt, pepper and ketchup.
- thought the Patriots would win the Super Bowl
- is a member of Facebook.
- has never had an ingrown toenail.
- makes between 75-100K a year.
- thinks Clemens is lying, not McNamee.
- thinks Pink Floyd's the Wall was good but flawed.
- likes beer because it tastes great.
- thinks the WNBA has the worst team names.
- would rather have a lifetime supply of chocolate than any tangy candy.
- thinks the Others are the most intriguging characters on Lost.
- thinks the Northern Hemisphere rocks.
- thinks Christian Laettner could take Axl Rose in a cage fight.
- believes that random-thread/poll-creating posters deserve the following: a life, significant other, temporary banning and a beat-down.
- sometimes give themselves the creeps.
- has no idea what DevilAlumna meant in the BSG poll
- thought Syesha Mercado was going to be voted off American Idol the week of 4/08/2008.
- thinks the "Dresssed like a pirate in a restaurant" is the best freecreditreport.com song.
- never uses a washcloth because it's unnecessary.
- picked October is their favorite month.
- thought Brooke White would be voted off American Idol the week of 4/22.
- prefer Eagles of Bobcats.
- thinks feet can sometimes be sexy.
- thought Jason "Mustgo" Castro would be voted off American Idol the week of 4/29
- would give up their spleen for a million dollars.
- thought Castmustgo (Jason Castro) would be voted off American Idol the week of 5/6.
- would rather coach in the big leagues for $500k/yr than play AAA ball for the same.
- is indifferent about visiting the dentist.
- prefers beef.
- visits the Elizabeth King forum first.
- would rather have a sharp stabbing pain in the right quad rather than a dull deep toothache.
- bench presses 150-200 (free weights).
- enjoys "Never getting berated for going 57 in the left lane like Earl"traffic"Jam".
- thought Syesha would go home among the final three American Idol competitors.
- prefers other pies than Key Lime, Pecan, Creampie, and Apple.
- would hang out naked for a while if they were home alone for 7 weeks.
- thought David Archuleta would win American Idol.
- fears windsheer/weather as the cause of a plane crash.
- thinks Yoda would win a in a Star Wars Jedi Deathmatch (note: Yoda had opponent in the poll).
- places a 1-5 syllable Starbucks order.
- wishes Conway Titty was still alive.
- thinks Satan and Hell are real.
- prefers wood over aluminum (bats).
- thinks boxing cannot be saved.
- wants to speed up baseball (that one really got me bummed).
- had fun at the latest Indiana Jones movie even though it wasn't great; it still lived up to their expectations.
- keeps their car until it no longer runs.
- either dreams they can float/fly or they are being chased by somebody.
- owns an axe.
- chooses Benjamin Linus as their favorite Lost character.
- feels that rings embody success, not accolades.
- chooses Dukes as their favorite mayonnaise.
- Thought Tiger would content for a win at the U.S. Open.
- wants you, needs you, but is spilt over loving you.
- calls the left lane with a diamond the HOV lane.
- prefers Gummi Bears or Worms.
- thinks Titanic was the worst Oscar-winning best picture ever.
- believes a Black Mamba is the world's most dangerous venomous snake.
- believes that animals (non-human) have souls that survive after death.
- would choose to endure 20 mosquito bites in one night all over their body.
- believes invisible fences are good things.
- had another Manic Monday on 6/23/2008
- agrees that Cougars are older but sexy and desirable women.
- loves the Western Cheeseburger. (Haters unite!)
- uses Paper Towels to clean up quick spills
- thinks Duct Tape is the best way to muffle screams of terror (billybreen, do you have any input?)
- picked Georgia to win the College World Series.
- has looked in the mirror and said "Hell Yeah! I look awesome!"
- voted for Ryan Newman as the only full-time NASCAR driver with a college degree.
- thinks purring is the cutest thing about freaking cats.
- thinks EarlJam owns the OTB.
- can't make up their mind if Fig Newtons have been violated or not.
- thinks Brett Favre is done for and that the rumors of his return are unjustified.
- thought Federer would win in 4.
- picked Indiana Jones, Batman - The Dark Night, Narnia - Prince Caspian, Iron, and WallE as the top 5 grossing movies of the summer
- loves breakfast for dinner!
We did have a few polls that only appealed to an exclusive audience, they were:
- The average female DBR poster shampoos her hair 3-4 days a week and takes between 45-60 minutes to get ready for work.
- The average male DBR posters shampoos his hair 7 days a week and takes between 25-40 minutes to get ready for work.
- The Atlanta Mafia preferred to sit outfield, behind the fence when they went to see the Braves
- The 34 and older DBR poster feels younger than they really are.
If you made it this far kudos to you!
How on Earth did you do this?
Kudos to YOU! This may be the single most impressive time-waster (and entertaining to boot!) that I have ever seen here...
It was pretty easy after I got motivated. I'll have to say this wasn't a time-waster, it was a time-filler. The real time-waster was that craptastic conference call hijacked by morons. Can you say rathole?
Reading LTE in one day is impressive. To whom does this honor belong? I've got an all day meeting on Friday so maybe I'll get motivated and see what I can do.
Dayyyyyyyyyyyymn! Awesome and very interesting summary post!
Thanks! Hmmmmmmmmm. Men shampoo nearly twice as much as women but still get out the door in half the time. This obviously prooves how far more efficient we are.
Kidding, I know women have a lot more to do (e.g., make-up, shaving more skin area (not every day though), doing all that stuff to your hair, finging the dingle, etc.)
-EJ
Thanks everyone. I have to say, there are some truly fantastic threads buried in the past and I gotta kick out of reading through them. I highly recommend browsing through them if you need to kill some time.
That must have been the longest and most boring conference call ever.
Wow, I am uber impressed. This brings back alot of memories and I was laughing the entire time. Great job.
So what I gather from that is that we're arrogant and have strong opinions about random things. Good to know!
Does your company know that they paid you to peruse the OTB for several hours? (not that this is necessarily a bad thing - my company paid me to sit in traffic this morning and get really, really mad at this doofus in front of me)
I believe Carlin posited that everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and that everyone who drives faster than you is a maniac.
I guess we now have blublood's addendum to this rule: the person in front of you in a traffic jam is a doofus.
This made my day!! THANK YOU blublood!
Cheers,
Lavabe
No, no, I promise, this person really was stupid! Green Springs highway was clogged with people seeking an alternative way to get to work since there was a wreck on 65 (caused by some other idiot, but that's a different story...) Green Springs is not really a "highway" having only two lanes in both directions, and traffic lights that are not synchronized.
We're all late to work, we're all cranky, we're all sick of this crap (or at least I am!). So what does the person in front of me do? With about a million people piled up behind them, they stop. To let someone exit from a drug store parking lot. WTH??
Only, of course, the drivers in the other lane aren't morons like the driver in front of me was, so they're not stopping so the person is just stuck in traffic. Making me late. Making every single one of us miss the light. I am usually not a horn-blower and I generally like to cultivate our fine habit of Southern politesse, but in this particular case, I let both of them have it.