I proudly introduce you to... the Kohler Numi. A $6000 toilet that is fully remote controlled. It features warming seats, an MP3 player, and a retracting/extending bidet that will splash water at different temperatures and in different splash patterns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8jCP_-oBgQ
Also, here is a CNet video review of the Numi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycCWZcEoRIw
-Jason "now I know what to get Ozzie for his birthday" Evans